Game session on 8 November 2009
A twin-brained human mutant ( ‘Muties’ as they are commonly known in these parts) known for the disgusting slime he involuntarily excretes throughout his body. Of course, this slime also happens to be a potent level 7 dermal poison. He can also control the weather with a thought. Unfortunately, he was born with a reduced immune system making him more susceptible to diseases than most others of his kind.
Another Mutie. Born with two heads and the power to gradually
turn back any damage inflicted upon him during combat as well as the ability to
boost his attributes by mere concentration.
The third Mutie of this team of ne’er-do-wells. He looks normal save for a dusting of scales giving him natural body armor. He can hear better than an average human, see in the dark, and has boosted mental reactions with an
affinity for all warlike martial things giving him a plus in combat. Unfortunately, he has a phobia for insects hardwired into his nervous system.
The only Normal in our group, Max resembles a sword-swinging young George Peppard from the old movie Damnation Alley.
It starts in the walled town of Sanly Bowitts, a fortified settlement peopled mostly by pure humans (‘Normals’ as they are known in what passes for wastelander patios) in southern parts of a larger wilderness called the Eastern Marches.
Having traveled from their respective villages in search of fame, fortune and
loot, our band of four hardy, plucky lads pass into the massively fortified gatehouse of Sanly Bowitts. There, they are challenged by the militia bearing the town’s insignia emblazoned on their wicker shields in the form of a white staff entwined with two criss-crossing serpents.
They are promptly assessed a customary the tax on mutants and an additional excise to gain the privilege of bear arms within town limits.
Upon entry to the town, our lads saunter around the market square fronting a massive tower of ancient, unsmeltable metal which flares larger at the top than it is wide at the bottom. The standard of the town’s overlord, His Excellency the Surgeon General himself, flutters in the brisk summer wind. The tower is his citadel and serves as the town hall as well.
Presently, they overhear an argument amongst some burly, beringed folk of serious calculating mien. Recognizing one of these as merchant caravan-master Darius Myles, a trader from these parts, they hear these men in heated discussion complaining about trading boats and crews that have recently turned up missing in the Lesser Azure River heading north from Sanly Bowitts.
Later on they follow Myles as he heads off towards the Strontium Ninety, a tavern fronting the market square.
Inside the Strontium Ninety, a band of musicians in garish outfits, festooned with various bizarre instruments pound away at what appear to be relic devices keeping up a loud, constant rhythm which, though unsettling, appear to capture the tavern's assembled clientelle. Their blindfolded singer shouts out the words of an unfamiliar ditty:
"When a good time turns around
you must whip it
you will never live it down
unless you whip it
no one gets away
until they whip it..."
Marcus flashes Myles his winning smile, and with the aid of a massive helping of liquor, manages to convince the merchant to hire them to undertake a trip up north near the Poison Forest to find out what is going on. As it turns out, Myles and his fellow traders are just about getting a tad upset about their missing merchandise and agree to a generous bounty if the disappearances are brought to an end.
As negotiations were going on, a fight develops between what appears to be a stunningly beautiful platinum blonde woman and three beefy men with
sickly-green tinged complexions. It appears that the woman resented the unwelcome and salacious intrusions of the trio of greenish brutes. A crash from a breaking mug brings the music to a halt, as the garishly garbed singer raises his blindfold to take in the scene that unfolds.
The woman swiftly and skillfully draws a silvered longsword and promptly beheads one attacker while fighting off another. The third sidesteps the fighters and draws a laser pistol in an attempt to shoot down the woman. On cue, Marcus steps in to intervene and succeeds in lopping off the gunman's gun hand. Clyde then steps up and promptly slimes the gunman who expires horribly after failing his save against poison. In the meantime, our swordswoman disposes of her remaining attacker.
The mysterious blonde thanks them gruffly and walks out of the bar. Before a slightly astonished crowd, she mounts up on an equally-mysterious albino bird-like steed and promptly flies off to parts unknown.
Still later that night, Marcus figures out how to use the laser pistol effectively but not first without burning a suspiciously charred smooth hole in the wall of their room at the Strontium Ninety.
they occupied for the night.
The boys leave Sanly Bowitts by daybreak and paddles up north along
the Lesser Azure on canoes loaned by trader Myles. They think they are trailed by what appear to be riverine snakes of disturbingly large size at midday but they keep going anyway.
By late afternoon, Marcus wants to set up camp on the riverside. They make
for the right bank which now turns out to be heavily obscured by reeds. Upon beaching their canoes they hear a stirring in the reeds. What follows is an attack by a pack of six, filthy, two-meter tall sickly brown-yellow hued Mutie savages. The Muties have long claws, mottled leathery skin, black eyes with no irises, long protruding noses and kinky hair with the consistency of steel wool. The action that follows is fast and furious as the boys make their stand on the riverbank, slashing away at their attackers. Marcus uses up a couple of charges and manages to down an assailant leaving it a sizzling corpse. They kill off their attackers with Clyde doing most of the killing through the liberal use of his poison slime.
The attack convinces them that it is a tad too risky in this part of the river. They then board their canoes and paddle off, heading even further north. The dying sun sets turning the endless sky of the wastes into a sanguinarious shade. They finally find a quiet bit of sandy shore on the left bank of the river. It fronts a grassy plain that stretches widely for miles around. Small copses of trees and vegetation dot the plain. They set up camp a settle in for the night. Aleph, the Elder Moon is rising in the night sky.
They have just survived a day in the wasteland.
The Dumbest Sword Ever
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